Erica’s Side of the Story

Hinge. We matched on Hinge in the beginning of December 2018. It was a short exchange. We flirted a bit and liked each other. However, in the time before Rich asked me on a date, I had gone on two with another guy and decided to give that guy a try. 

“Hey Rich, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re smart, handsome, and funny - I think we’d get along great. However, I just started seeing someone and I want to see where it goes. I wanted to let you know because I don’t believe in ghosting people and I don’t want you to think you did anything wrong. Here’s my number. Ping me in a few months and if we’re both single, let’s meet up. — Erica”

A few months later, I pinged him. “Hey Rich! Are you single?” To which he replied, “actually, I just got out of something and was going to take a break from dating. I didn’t think I was going to hear from you. This is surprising. I guess what I’m saying is, you have my undivided attention” or something like that. From there, it was like butter. 

We texted for a few days until we could go out on a date (because I was actually sick in bed then I wrote to him) and the moment I was better we had planned to meet up. 

He invited me to meet him at the Highline at 4pm on a Sunday - March 24, 2019. I walked there and arrived a few minutes late. He was at the top of the stairs by the Whitney, and so I was bouncing up the stairs, saw him, threw my arms around him and gave him a huge hug. I was so excited to meet this man. And he was so much more gorgeous that I had pictured. I handed him my phone to hold in his pocket because my pocket was too small. And we walked the Highline, talked about art, family, our upbringings, life in NYC, and architecture. At the end of the Highline, he suggested we go to dinner. 

I took him to this little Thai place around the corner from Landmark that I like and we had Thai iced teas and talked about lots of things. Then, he ended up walking me alllllll the way back home to the East Village across town. Somewhere in Madison Square Park, he asked (I think) if he could kiss me — and we did. It was magical. 

At some point before we got to my house, he told me he was married and divorced before, and it didn’t phase me — though I appreciated his transparency. I shared that I was without a job at the moment, but not to worry. He didn’t seem phased by that either. 

We stood outside of my apartment for what felt like at least an hour kissing and talking. “Is there somewhere we could go nearby? I don’t want this date to end yet,” he said. So we went to the closest pub and sat in the audience of this quirky musical duo that was playing a cello and flute and we just listened. Whispering to each other. Holding hands. Kissing. And then we left. 

We stayed outside of my apartment for another hour or two talking and making out before he left. I think that date lasted 7-8 hours. It was purely magical. 

On Tuesday we went out again. We gushed over our passion projects at Mexicue and found a mutual love for the organization Charity: Water. He shared some of his first language, Fante, with me and we spoke about our futures. We headed to the sexiest underground wine bar and he ordered us some champagne which made me feel like a princess. This date lasted nine hours. 

I invited him on a date that I planned the following Monday. Took him to the Color Factory and had a blast. He is such a fun person and we laughed the entire time. At the end of the night, he told me it was the first date he’d been taken on in his life. 

That Wednesday, he took me to a quirky (accidentally) very intense play called “Everything is F*cked” and it was super awkward sitting through watching the two couples cheat, argue, and divorce each other in what felt like an all too relatable situation. But it got us talking about lots of things when we went for dinner and margaritas after. At the restaurant, we wrote each other postcards that the waiter gave us and Rich said something like “If we’re still together in a year, ask me what I was thinking on this night.” I knew it was that he’d fallen in love with me. I was head over heels for this man. That night, we became official. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Nine days after our first date. 

I was hooked. Never had I met a more gentle, caring, attentive, attractive, empathetic, upstanding, responsible man. He made me feel so safe, protected and loved everything he did. I loved having him and his capable hands around. 

That Sunday, we had the greatest day together, cooking pancakes, singing (he has the voice of an angel), and enjoying each other’s company. I wish I had the Sunday secretly videotaped because it’s honestly one of the turning points of my life. I realized that day that I could have it all. I knew I’d found my other half who I just wanted to spend all of my time with. I knew I wanted to be with him forever. 

We dated like love-sick teens. Went out to dinners, to parks, to my apartment or his. We cooked lots of meals together and wrote each other poems. After 3 weeks of dating, he introduced me to his best friend (who was definitely skeptical of our quick bond). That night we talked about the possibility of living together and then later that night, I left to spend 25 days in Morocco. The night before, I got this little stationery from the shop under his work and gave him 25 cards and envelopes. We spent a while writing a message for each day I was gone — dating the envelopes so we knew when to open them. Then we exchanged our piles of mini letters and I was on my way to the airport in the middle of the night. Opening the love notes each day made being apart slightly less terrible than it was.

A week after I arrived home, we were at a bodega getting a sausage egg and cheese before work, and as he was saying goodbye, he accidentally said “I love you, bye”. And then immediately heard himself and was surprised that he had let his feelings slip. We kissed, and then I said it back - and that I’d been feeling it for weeks already. I dropped him off and ended up walking 8 blocks in the wrong direction — twice — because I felt like I was floating and my sense of direction was knocked out of line with those three simple words. 

Dating Rich felt like all different levels of bliss mixed with some challenging important conversations. Honestly, I couldn’t have found a more perfect person to spend the rest of my life with if I tried. Rich is the most kind, honest, humble, sweet, loving human being and every time I look at him, I feel like I love him just a little bit more. I see the way he looks at me and it literally makes me melt. 

He is my king. 
He is the love of my life. 
He is my “Whole Life Love.”